Shannon Sharpe is within the headlines, and this time it’s not due to his booming snigger or sports activities takes on ‘Membership Shay Shay.’
The Corridor of Fame tight finish turned sports activities media determine—as soon as the co-host of Undisputed with Skip Bayless and, till just lately, a outstanding voice on ESPN’s First Take—is now dealing with a $50 million lawsuit from a 19-year-old lady who alleges sexual assault and battery. In response to the allegations, Sharpe has quickly stepped away from his ESPN function. And whereas the authorized case unfolds, there’s a deeper, extra uncomfortable dialog we have to have. As a result of what’s “authorized” isn’t at all times ethical. And what we permit says all the pieces about what—and who—we’re prepared to guard.
First, the info. The civil swimsuit alleges that Sharpe engaged in coercive, degrading conduct with a younger lady lower than half his age. Not solely does the lawsuit embrace allegations of sexual assault, however it additionally reveals deeply inappropriate, racially charged exchanges between Sharpe and the younger lady. In line with textual content messages launched, she made feedback about desirous to have his “Black infants,” a disturbing instance of race play and fetishization. And but, he nonetheless engaged. As a substitute of shutting it down or stepping away, he selected to lean in. That alone ought to’ve been a flag — not only for him, however for everybody round him. As a result of when race is fetishized in sexual dynamics, particularly throughout important age and energy gaps, the hurt isn’t simply private—it’s political.
Some on social media have rushed to defend Sharpe by emphasizing that the younger lady is of authorized age. But when the one justification for a 54-year-old man’s conduct is that it doesn’t violate the legislation, then the ethical basis of that protection is already collapsing beneath its personal weight.
This isn’t a authorized debate. It’s an ethical one. It’s about energy. It’s about manipulation. And it’s in regards to the methods we excuse predatory conduct so long as the person is wealthy, well-known, or charming sufficient to distract us.
A 19-year-old could also be legally an grownup, however she is barely out of highschool. She remains to be shaping her identification, studying boundaries, and determining her value in a world that consistently devalues girls and women. The science backs this up: the human mind, notably the prefrontal cortex that governs decision-making and impulse management, doesn’t totally develop till round age 25. However even when it did, that also wouldn’t make this okay.
Shannon Sharpe has grownup daughters of their 30s. Take into consideration that. After which ask: if a 54-year-old man pursued one in every of his daughters when she was 19, would he be effective with it? Would you?
It’s straightforward to cheer Sharpe on for “bagging” somebody three many years youthful when it’s not your daughter, sister, cousin, or niece. Nevertheless it’s additionally wildly hypocritical. Among the similar males defending this are the identical ones who’d burn the world down if their very own daughter got here residence speaking a few man in his 50s or 40s or 30s or courting in any respect. Let’s cease pretending we don’t see the double customary.
These are additionally the identical males who degrade girls for having OnlyFans—a web-based subscription platform that enables individuals to share grownup content material instantly with paying subscribers—however will flip round and spend hire cash at strip golf equipment or slide into DMs begging for consideration. The identical males who choose her for the way she makes a dwelling are those fueling the demand.
This isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. That is about what number of males like him exist in our communities. In our circles. At our church buildings. In our group chats. Males who abuse energy dynamics and get celebrated for it. Males who use wealth, age, or standing to coerce affection, then conceal behind authorized definitions of consent when the hurt turns into public.
It’s additionally essential to handle a frequent deflection: the declare that Black individuals don’t maintain white males to the identical customary in circumstances like this. That assertion is solely not correct. The #MeToo motion itself was sparked by public allegations towards Harvey Weinstein, a white man who was ultimately convicted after many years of reported sexual violence. Leonardo DiCaprio has confronted sustained public criticism for his sample of courting girls considerably youthful than him, all beneath the age of 25. Russell Model is at present beneath investigation following a number of allegations of sexual misconduct. In different phrases, white males have been, and proceed to be, publicly scrutinized and held accountable for comparable conduct by Black individuals even when not by case legislation..
The difficulty isn’t that Black males are unfairly criticized—it’s that too many people are uncomfortable holding Black males accountable after they trigger hurt. And that’s what makes it simpler for folk like Invoice Cosby, R. Kelly, Russell Simmons, and others to get away with sexual violence for many years. It’s not that nobody knew. It’s that too many individuals refused to consider—or just didn’t care.
Contemplate the general public response to the current scenario involving Draya Michele, a 39-year-old lady, and Jalen Inexperienced, a 23-year-old NBA participant, after information emerged that she was pregnant. The response was swift: social media was flooded with commentary questioning the age hole, and lots of raised issues about grooming and energy dynamics. Individuals requested—rightfully—how the response would possibly differ if the roles have been reversed. And that’s exactly the purpose: important age and energy disparities ought to increase issues, no matter gender. When a person with way more life expertise, affect, and entry engages with somebody simply getting into maturity, it warrants scrutiny. So why is it reframed as an achievement or “relationship objectives” when the older social gathering is a person?
We now have to assume extra critically about what we condone beneath the banner of maturity. Simply because somebody is legally allowed to consent doesn’t imply they’re in an equal place to take action. Energy imbalances matter. Age gaps matter. Intentions matter — particularly when the older individual holds extra social, monetary, and emotional leverage.
And I actually hope persons are paying consideration—not simply to what’s being stated in headlines or Threads, however in their very own lives. I hope they’re listening to what’s being stated in barbershops, at brunch tables, on FaceTime calls. As a result of the protection of predatory conduct doesn’t simply occur out loud; it occurs in silence too.
Predators don’t thrive as a result of they’re geniuses. They thrive as a result of individuals shield them. They get away with it as a result of we glance away. As a result of we keep quiet. As a result of we inform ourselves it’s not that dangerous. Till it’s.
So no, this isn’t nearly Shannon Sharpe. It’s a few tradition that has made it far too straightforward for males to take advantage of youthful girls and name it sport. It’s a few tradition that refuses to acknowledge hurt except it ends in felony conviction. And it’s about whether or not we’re prepared to maintain letting “authorized” be the ground when “moral” needs to be the usual.
Discomfort within the face of those truths just isn’t solely anticipated—it’s obligatory. It ought to immediate reflection, accountability, and a deeper reckoning with the cultural norms we’ve lengthy accepted. As a result of if we fail to confront these patterns now, we are going to proceed to see them repeat. Completely different names, similar dynamics. And with each excuse we make, we ship a transparent message to survivors: that their ache is the price of our silence. It ought to by no means be.
It’s not. And it by no means ought to have been.
Preston Mitchum is the founding father of PDM Consulting, based mostly in Washington, DC. His work focuses on racial justice, gender fairness, LGBTQ+ liberation, and the pursuit of insurance policies that transfer past symbolism to create lasting change.
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