R. Kelly Asking Trump To Save Him Was Not On My Bingo Card

Supply: Prepare dinner County Division of Corrections / Prepare dinner County Division of Corrections

Look, man…

2025 has already been a wild yr, which all of us knew it might be the day President Donald Trump was elected to the White Home for a second time, however amid all of the chaos, I nonetheless didn’t have R .Kelly‘s lawyer asking Trump to free the disgraced King of R&B from jail to avoid wasting him from a white supremacist homicide plot on by 2025 Bingo card.

Based on USA Immediately, attorneys for Kelly, who’s serving a 30-year sentence in a North Carolina jail for racketeering and intercourse trafficking, are claiming the federal authorities is colluding with the Aryan Brotherhood to homicide the “I Imagine I Can Fly” (however can I fly the coop?) singer as a result of Kelly is threatening to show prosecutorial corruption throughout his case.

“Federal officers have solicited the homicide of R. Kelly as a result of he intends to show the corruption underlying his federal prosecutions. We now have filed our movement to guarantee that they fail,” Kelly’s lawyer, Beau B Brindley, wrote in an announcement on Wednesday. “The one factor that may defend Mr. Kelly behind the jail partitions now’s the truth that now the world is watching. And we are going to name on the courts and President Trump to assist put an finish to the corruption that now threatens Mr. Kelly’s life.”

From USA Immediately:

Kelly’s crew supplied a sworn assertion from an inmate named Mikeal Stine, saying the officers supplied to launch him amid his terminal sickness in change for Kelly’s homicide. Stine, a frontrunner of the Aryan Brotherhood, alleged he was beforehand directed to order beatings and killings by a jail official who additionally ordered the killing of Kelly. Stine mentioned he was transferred in March to the Federal Correctional Institute facility in Butner, North Carolina – the place Kelly is being held – and positioned in the identical unit.

As soon as Stine carried out the killing, he claimed officers mentioned he can be allowed to flee the power and although he’d be charged with homicide, proof can be mishandled, leading to no conviction.

Nevertheless, in accordance with Stine’s declaration, he had a change of coronary heart and instructed Kelly in regards to the plot. Kelly’s attorneys additionally declare that in June, a second inmate with the Aryan Brotherhood was directed to kill each Stine and Kelly.

OK, so, a number of issues…

First, is that this actual life or Tyler Perry’s subsequent film script?

Secondly — *heavy sigh* — the “Invoice Cosby was attempting to purchase NBC” crowd is about to have a area day with this one. (I used to be going to make an “R. Kelly was attempting to purchase Nickelodeon” joke, however I’ma keep elegant.) There are already sufficient followers of predatory Black males pretending that these millionaire entertainers who’ve by no means busted a revolutionary grape all through their careers are getting the Malcolm X remedy from “the powers that be.” (I used to be unsuitable. It’s worse than a Tyler Perry plot — it’s a Dr. Umar Johnson documentary.)

Lastly — and I hesitate to supply any authorized recommendation that might assist the Pied Predator evade justice, however — this simply looks like poor technique. I imply, Kelly’s attorneys predict Trump to avoid wasting him from white supremacists. Don’t they know, so far as the MAGA messiah is worried, white supremacists are the homies? I imply, Brindley thinks interesting to Trump will get his shopper out of lockup. I feel it’s not less than barely extra seemingly Trump will reply by telling the Brotherhood, “Stand again and stand by, however I’ll all the time battle on your Second Modification proper to bear shivs.“

Except Kelly comes out of the closet he was trapped in as a white Afrikaner from South Africa, my cash is on his little “fleeing from sure loss of life” plea is more likely to fall on deaf ears.

Brindley was higher off claiming Kelly was at risk of being murdered by incarcerated Black Lives Matter protesters who have been attempting to stop him from exposing a large “unlawful DEI” operation within the jail system.

R. Kelly is going through a homicide plot by unlawful MS-13 immigrants who’re attempting to kill him earlier than he writes a letter to the White Home, asking, “Ain’t they imagined to be in El Salvador?” That’s the type of story that may get you aboard the Jan. 6 Pardon Practice. Coming at Trump with a plea to flee white supremacists is simply going to trigger the president to “very nice folks on each side” Kelly to loss of life.

Truly, Brindley isn’t looking for a pardon for his shopper. He mentioned Kelly’s authorized crew isn’t looking for clemency however extra so “a dialog with the president.”

“That is exactly the type [of] prosecutorial corruption that President [Donald] Trump has vowed to eradicate,” he mentioned. “We consider [Trump] is the one one with each the facility and the braveness to do it. And we are going to absolutely search no matter assist he can present us on this battle.”

Hell, perhaps I’m unsuitable. Perhaps Kelly’s authorized crew can pull off the hat trick in spite of everything. I imply, Trump does have a historical past of sexual assault allegations, together with the case he was discovered accountable for, that rattling close to rivals that of the 12 Play artist. They’re just about two peas in a predator pod.

All I do know is, if Trump will get Kelly out of jail and locations him on home arrest or one thing related — the Step In The Identify of MAGA album goes to be wild.

I hate it right here.