If you happen to’ve ever been in remedy or had a heart-to-heart with somebody who’s massive on emotional development, you might need heard the phrase “sit along with your feelings.” At first, it’d sound like a obscure, even irritating, instruction. Sit with them? What does that even imply? Ought to I simply stare into area till the emotions cross? How lengthy does this sitting take, precisely?
Whereas it’s tempting to keep away from our feelings or push them apart, studying to sit down with them is a robust step in understanding your self higher, therapeutic, and fostering emotional resilience. Let’s break down what it actually means, why it’s necessary, and how one can apply it.
What Does “Sit With Your Feelings” Imply?
“Sitting along with your feelings” is about acknowledging and accepting your emotions as an alternative of avoiding, suppressing, or judging them. It’s the apply of making area to really feel what you’re feeling with out dashing to repair it or make it go away.
Right here’s what it doesn’t imply:
• It’s not about wallowing or spiraling into a sense till it overtakes you.
• It’s not about discovering an answer to the issue instantly.
• It’s not about judging your self for having the sensation within the first place.
As a substitute, it’s about observing your feelings with curiosity and compassion. Think about you’re a number, and your feelings are sudden company. You don’t should cater to them endlessly, however you do should acknowledge that they’ve proven up.
Why Is It Vital to Sit With Your Feelings?
Feelings are a part of the human expertise, and each carries details about what you’re going via and what you want. Whenever you keep away from them, they don’t truly disappear—they simply discover one other method to present up. Suppressed feelings can flip into bodily signs (like complications or fatigue), heightened nervousness, or behaviors like snapping at somebody or binge-watching exhibits for days.
Sitting along with your feelings helps you:
• Perceive your self higher: It provides you clues about your triggers, wants, and patterns.
• Cut back emotional depth: Emotions usually lose a few of their energy once they’re acknowledged.
• Construct resilience: Going through feelings as an alternative of avoiding them helps you are feeling extra able to dealing with life’s ups and downs.
Find out how to Sit With Your Feelings
If you happen to’re new to this apply, it may really feel uncomfortable at first. Right here’s the best way to begin:
1. Create a Protected House
Discover a quiet spot the place you received’t be interrupted. This might be a comfortable chair, your mattress, and even your automobile. Having a peaceful, impartial setting could make it simpler to focus.
2. Identify What You’re Feeling
Begin by figuring out the emotion. Are you unhappy, offended, pissed off, anxious, or possibly a mixture of a number of emotions? Give your feelings names—this alone could be grounding.
Instance: “I really feel harm due to what my pal stated,” or “I’m anxious about tomorrow’s assembly.”
3. Examine In With Your Physique
Feelings usually present up bodily. Possibly your chest feels tight, your abdomen is in knots, or your shoulders are tense. Discover these sensations with out attempting to vary them.
4. Observe With out Judgment
Deal with your emotions like passing clouds. They’re not good or dangerous—they simply are. Keep away from saying issues like “I shouldn’t really feel this fashion” or “That is foolish.” As a substitute, attempt, “That is what I’m feeling proper now, and that’s okay.”
5. Ask What the Emotion Needs You to Know
Feelings usually carry messages. Ask your self:
• What triggered this sense?
• What want is that this emotion pointing to? (e.g., Do I want relaxation, consolation, or boundaries?)
6. Let the Feeling Be
You don’t must “repair” the sensation instantly. Merely permit it to exist. This would possibly imply sitting quietly, journaling, or taking a number of deep breaths. Keep in mind, feelings are short-term—they rise, peak, and finally fade.
What If It Feels Overwhelming?
Typically, sitting with feelings can really feel intense, particularly in the event that they’ve been buried for some time. If this occurs:
• Take a break: It’s okay to step away and are available again later.
• Floor your self: Focus in your senses—what are you able to see, hear, contact, scent, and style? This will help anchor you within the current.
• Search assist: Discuss to your therapist or somebody you belief. They will help you course of what you’re feeling in a secure, supportive method.
Practising Self-Compassion
One of the necessary elements of sitting along with your feelings is being form to your self. It’s not straightforward work, and there’s no proper or fallacious method to do it. Each time you permit your self to really feel, you’re making progress.
Takeaways for the Journey
Sitting along with your feelings is about permitting your self to really feel with out judgment. It’s a apply that takes time and endurance, however it may deepen your self-awareness and emotional resilience.
If you happen to’re navigating troublesome feelings or need extra steerage, Remedy for Black Women has a listing of licensed therapists able to assist you. Be part of the dialog in our Sister Circle neighborhood at neighborhood.therapyforblackgirls.com, the place we share experiences and suggestions for emotional well-being.
Keep in mind: feelings are guests, not everlasting residents. By sitting with them, you permit your self to develop, heal, and transfer ahead with intention.
