Popping out is not a straightforward factor to do, particularly whenever you’re unsure of what you are feeling. For a lot of who establish as homosexual, it is one thing they know and really feel from an early age. Swank Studio expertise director Tee Lindsay had an inkling of his sexuality on the age of seven however didn’t perceive the correct approach to label his attraction till a couple of years later.
Lindsay got here from an extremely non secular family, and with that got here a good larger concern of how his household would react to his reality earlier than he was able to disclose it to them. In some ways, he did not wish to disappoint them. Add to that not eager to be teased or bullied by classmates and considering there’s one thing incorrect with you, you begin to internalize every part.
As we proceed to have fun Satisfaction Month, EBONY spoke with Tee Lindsay to study extra about his releasing journey of popping out to his church-going household as a homosexual Black man.
EBONY: At what age did you understand and perceive your sexuality? Who was that particular person you confided in?Tee Lindsay: Positively as early as elementary college. My earliest reminiscence has to have been in second grade, however by fifth grade, I knew what to name my attraction. I confided in my late, greatest buddy, Tymisha Grey. We had been hanging out in her dorm after I informed her. She was extraordinarily supportive and confirmed me a lot love. She even helped me come out to another mates. I miss her quite a bit.
How did your loved ones react whenever you informed them? Had been you afraid to inform them?I did not get an opportunity to inform my household. I used to be outed by somebody my dad and mom attended church with. I used to be undoubtedly afraid to inform them, and I believe their response confirmed why I used to be. They yelled, cried and prayed over me. Then got here quite a bit of lecturing and ultimatums, however actually I assume they largely felt damage as a result of I had stored this secret that so many others knew. It was like they didn’t know their son in addition to they thought they did. It type of added insult to damage within the scenario.
Once I was outed, I used to be initially shocked as a result of deep down I knew it was solely a matter of time primarily based on the best way I used to be shifting. I believe my unconscious hoped it occurred as a result of after I didn’t actually have something to cover from anybody; it was all on the market within the open. So a way of aid undoubtedly adopted a couple of days after. Fortunately, since that day, I’ve felt a constructive shift in our relationship.
Did you’re feeling stress from society to cover the true you from the world?I used to really feel it quite a bit, particularly rising up within the church. Not essentially from the overused “God hates gays” perspective, however extra so from understanding different queer individuals who hid who they had been from the world. I felt that I wanted to do this as properly. Once I grew to become an grownup, I finally stopped feeling that stress. However, then after I entered the leisure trade, particularly working within the music trade, I started to really feel it once more. I attempted my greatest to return off as not “too homosexual” or female. As I’ve grown within the trade, and as a person, I’ve gotten to a spot the place I am extraordinarily comfy with who I’m.
How does it really feel to be residing in your reality in 2023? Is that this one thing your youthful self would’ve imagined?It feels superb, however I do assume I at all times knew I might finally be residing out loud and proud. I am somebody who can solely tolerate being uncomfortable for therefore lengthy. Rising up, I simply did not know what that image of me residing my reality would seem like, nevertheless it’s protected to say I painted a reasonably image.
