This submit was initially revealed on Defender Community
By ReShonda Tate
Melani Sanders didn’t got down to begin a motion.
She didn’t have a launch plan, a advertising and marketing technique, and even the expectation that quite a lot of dozen girls would reply. She was sitting in her automotive, parked exterior a grocery retailer, doing what she had completed earlier than—urgent file when the second felt proper.
“I’d been an influencer for about 4 and a half years,” Sanders instructed The Defender. “However on Could 13, I simply hit the file button and requested girls in the event that they wished to hitch me in one thing I referred to as the We Do Not Care Membership. I noticed I used to be at some extent in my life the place I simply didn’t care like I used to.”
She anticipated perhaps a couple of feedback. A handful of girls who felt seen.
As an alternative, hundreds of thousands confirmed up.
“I assumed perhaps 26… 30 girls would say sure,” she mentioned, nonetheless sounding incredulous months later. “Nevertheless it was upwards of six million.”
A Second That Hit a Nerve
By the point Sanders made it dwelling from the shop, her telephone was lighting up. The video—uncooked, unpolished, and unapologetically sincere—was spreading sooner than something she had posted earlier than.
“I’d had viral content material earlier than,” she mentioned. “However there was one thing totally different about that submit. I didn’t even give it some thought. I simply posted it.”
What resonated wasn’t perspective—it was fact.
Girls flooded the feedback with their very own declarations: not caring about completely cooked dinners, company expectations, leg hair, laundry guidelines, or performing emotional labor on empty. What sounded blunt on the floor was truly about survival, reprioritization, and self-preservation—particularly for ladies navigating perimenopause and menopause.
“I’m so grateful to Melani for creating this platform for us to really feel like we aren’t alone with this loopy menopause journey,” mentioned fan Cass Joseph. “I really resonate with a lot of what she shares and love each time she spits out that highlighter prime.”
Added fan Tammy Wright, “The primary time I found her web page, I ended in my tracks. I felt seen! After which different girls began weighing in, and I assumed, I discovered my sisterhood. I make my household watch to allow them to see I’m not the one one who now not cares.”
“It might probably sound harsh if you say ‘we don’t care,’” Sanders defined. “However if you hear it the best way I clarify it, you understand—oh. I’m not the one one who feels this fashion.”
For Sanders, “not caring” doesn’t imply indifference. It means reassessing what truly deserves power.
“There was a time when making dinner each evening was a precedence,” she mentioned. “That’s not the precedence anymore. Now I’m attempting to recollect my magnesium.”
From Content material Creator to Unintended Founder
Sanders, a Florida-based mother of three boys, says the pace of the motion initially scared her.
“I ran,” she admitted. “As soon as I noticed how briskly it was rising, I felt like perhaps the true me wasn’t going to be sufficient.”
She stepped again from social media for some time, hoping it could fade.
It didn’t.
As an alternative, girls started forming their very own WDNC “chapters,” posting movies, sporting the now-iconic glasses, and naming Sanders—a lot to her shock—because the membership’s founder.
“In the future I noticed a girl say she was a part of a chapter,” Sanders recalled. “And I assumed—oh. That is sensible. It’s not nearly me anymore.”
What emerged wasn’t a model—it was a sisterhood.
“I don’t need to be the middle,” she mentioned. “That is their membership.”
Humor as Therapeutic
Sanders entered perimenopause—what she affectionately calls “Miss Peri”—after a partial hysterectomy in 2024. She struggled with insomnia, despair, physique adjustments, and mind fog. Humor grew to become her lifeline.
“I don’t have it in me,” she mentioned plainly. “My physique aches. I’m standing within the fridge attempting to recollect the best way to cook dinner. Some days? Let’s simply go to Chick-fil-A and name it a win.”
Her honesty struck a chord throughout generations. Whereas many WDNC members are over 50, Sanders says that youthful girls additionally see their future—and their permission—to take part within the motion mirrored in it.
That relatability has earned her a large following, movie star followers, and nationwide recognition, together with being named PEOPLE’s 2025 “Creator of the 12 months.”
However Sanders stays grounded in the identical objective she began with.
“My purpose has at all times been to strengthen, encourage, and encourage the on a regular basis girl. I try this visually, by actual life—not perfection.”
Melani Sanders
“My purpose has at all times been to strengthen, encourage, and encourage the on a regular basis girl,” she mentioned. “I try this visually, by actual life—not perfection.”
What’s Subsequent for WDNC
The motion has now expanded past social media. Sanders is releasing The Official We Do Not Care Membership Handbook on Jan. 16, a information she describes as half survival guide, half rallying cry for ladies navigating midlife. (She’ll be in Houston at Kindred Tales on Jan. 22)
She’s additionally partnered with Midi Well being, a digital care clinic centered on perimenopause and menopause, serving to girls entry actual medical assist—one thing many say they’ve been denied or dismissed.
Wanting forward, Sanders goals of taking WDNC offline.
“I need intimate retreats,” she mentioned. “No make-up. No strain. Simply girls being actual. We’ll have a rage room. A writing room. A spot to let all of it go.”
She laughs simply—however her message is severe.
“If one among us has dry she-shed,” she joked, “then all of us have dry she-shed.”
In a tradition that consistently tells girls to carry out, please, and push by, Melani Sanders did one thing radical.
She stopped caring—and gave hundreds of thousands of girls permission to do the identical.
And all she did was press file.
Melani Sanders Booksigning, Wed., January 21 @ 7 PM, Kindred Tales, 3719 Navigation St, Houston, TX 77003
