Age-gap relationships have by no means been removed from the cultural dialog. From Aaliyah’s defiant “Age Ain’t Nothing however a Quantity” to Netflix’s “Age of Attraction,” the subject has at all times drawn robust, break up reactions with individuals both pointing to the potential for hurt or holding up their very own love tales as proof that age is only a quantity.
This week, that dialog was reignited when movies circulated of Solange Knowles’ son Julez Smith, 21, showing to flirt with “Love & Hip Hop” veteran Tommie Lee, 41. Social media rapidly went into overdrive, partly out of confusion about how the 2 even know one another, and partly as a result of individuals had been quick to level out that Lee is 2 years older than Julez’s personal mom, Solange, who’s 39.
Lee addressed the chatter not directly on her Instagram Tales, stating she’s “not that typa lady #nexttopic.” However by then, the web had already moved on to a much bigger dialog.
Whether or not something is definitely occurring between Lee and Julez, she wouldn’t be the primary Black lady linked to a considerably youthful associate. On Netflix’s “Age of Attraction,” 41-year-old Leah and 26-year-old Chris took their 15-year age hole relationship public, and are reportedly nonetheless collectively. In 2020, Jada Pinkett Smith and August Alsina’s admission of an “entanglement,” with a 21-year age distinction, dominated headlines for weeks.
And based on Psychology Right this moment, what some are calling the “reverse age hole,” older ladies with youthful males, is more and more widespread, notably amongst ladies who’ve constructed monetary independence, a robust sense of self, and aren’t on the lookout for a relationship to offer both of these issues. The publication factors to a couple driving forces: a rejection of the concept that ladies have an expiration date on their desirability, a rising desire for the emotional maturity and fairness that youthful, extra progressive males are likely to convey, and a basic shift in what ladies are on the lookout for in love: much less safety, extra self-expansion.
Whereas age-gap relationships have at all times been seen as taboo, the notion of an older lady with a youthful man feels notably taboo, as it’s usually depicted as older males courting youthful women—a double customary that has social media customers emphasizing the significance of speaking to younger boys in regards to the potential risks of those dynamics, simply as they do with younger women.
Whether or not Tommie Lee and Julez Smith are merely acquaintances or one thing extra is between them. However the response to even the potential for their connection raises questions on how communities defend younger Black males from probably predatory conditions, and on the flipside, how we police Black ladies’s romantic selections.
