Editor’s word: The next article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the creator’s personal. Learn extra opinions on theGrio.
One of many worst issues that may ever occur to cheaters is a sluggish information week, however that’s the scenario that Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his chief individuals officer, Kristin Cabot, discovered themselves in because the web has turned their very public indiscretion into world information. I suppose I ought to put one large ole “allegedly” over this complete put up since I’m unsure if Astronomer has “confirmed” the identities of Byron and Cabot because the individuals within the video. I’m a journalist, in spite of everything so let me be…journalistic.
For many who might have in some way, inexplicably missed this story: at a Coldplay live performance outdoors of Boston at Gillette Stadium, Byron and Cabot had been caught on the jumbotron KissCam in a boolovin’ embrace earlier than shortly disentangling themselves and searching EVERY BIT of the guiltiest individuals on the planet: Cabot coated her face and rotated and Byron—oh, Byron—slumped down out of sight as if that might make their actions from two seconds prior evaporate from existence. You would argue that HIS actions are those that despatched their story viral as a result of a shy girl turning round from the digicam isn’t information, however a white man dropping it prefer it’s sizzling after being seen on digicam, nicely, that suggests that there’s a “there” there.
Even Coldplay’s Chris Martin bought in on the act, stating that both they had been having an affair or had been very shy. Spot on, Chris…spot on. A girl to Cabot’s proper—since recognized as Alyssa Stoddard, the newly employed Senior Director of Individuals at Astronomer (I’m guessing a number of individuals took PTO the day after this video went viral) who was simply promoted final week to Vice President of Individuals—seems to be embarrassed and like she knew this was going to occur. Whew, chile. I’m certain EVERYBODY has had a tough few days round these components. Within the days since, Byron and Cabot and people tied to them have deleted social media pages and LinkedIn accounts, and so on. Since “Love Island USA” is over individuals had much more time on their fingers to go social media ham on The Coldplay Digicam Cheaters.
For the document, the lady who posted the response to her Tiktok mentioned she didn’t know who they had been but in addition made it clear, “you play silly video games, you win silly prizes.” We within the Black neighborhood consult with that as “a phrase.”
Since Black males don’t cheat, there isn’t a lot for me to study from this example. I’ve by no means and would by no means cheat on my partner (hey boo!) however there are individuals who may stand to study a factor or two from their scenario. Out of the goodness of my coronary heart, I’ve tried to provide you with a listing of classes people may study from their scenario, ya know, for the cheaters on the market enthusiastic about going to a live performance within the close to future.
1. Don’t cheat.
I imply, that is in all probability probably the most no-brainer right here but it surely needed to be mentioned: I don’t know what their private lives appear to be proper now however I hope it was value it. I’m guessing that this example has created ALL kinds of questions for Byron, who’s married with youngsters, no less than. It doesn’t seem to be Cabot is presently married, however I’ll wager she is aware of Byron is…was. Level is, in the event you don’t cheat you don’t go viral for dishonest.
2. Study from Andy Byron and most significantly, don’t be Andy Byron.
Pay attention. Pay attention. Byron is perhaps a genius, however he’s dumb dumb. If you need a masterclass in trying responsible, simply research Andy Byron’s strikes from the video. He went from smiling as he realized they had been on the digicam to realizing that they had been on the digicam after which unlocking and shortly ducking out of sight. Not a SOUL recording this (I’d wager that NOBODY of their suite was recording them…extra on that later) would have thought to place this on-line if he didn’t do what he did.
He did all of the issues responsible individuals with one thing to lose do. If he simply stood there or turned his face or, I don’t know, any variety of different issues, I doubt this video goes viral. It ain’t like Coldplay shared it to their IG web page. Nope, an enterprising one that recorded it, who is aware of a cheater once they see one was like, “I’m wondering” and the web did its factor. Level is, don’t be Andy Byron.
3. The tradition at their firm have to be…free.
Them people had been OUTSIDE dishonest heavy. They had been at an entire live performance, in a set, with co-workers being soiled. Ella Mai may as nicely have been singing “Boo’d Up” to all of them night time. The opposite staff are clearly in on their affair as a result of they had been hugged up tight and having fun with an evening collectively listening to the dulcet sounds of Coldplay. I don’t know (and possibly this data is on the market now) that they had been in an organization suite, in all probability on a “work outing.” Why else wasn’t Byron’s partner there? You telling me she wouldn’t wish to see Coldplay? All people desires to see Coldplay. Additionally, assuming they personal that suite—the corporate, Astronomer achieved Unicorn standing; I’ll wager not solely do they personal that suite, but it surely comes with all of the bells and whistles—Byron and Cabot are dishonest on firm time. The disrespect is known.
4. Human Assets at Astronomer wants an audit.
Sort of goes with out saying however the CEO canoodling with the CPO whereas the VP of Individuals stands subsequent to them, in all probability singing alongside to “Yellow” and “Viva La Vida” has violations written ALL OVER IT.
5. Coldplay’s Chris Martin is a wild boy.
He ain’t need to put the phrase affair out into the air like that however into the air it went and now I do know who Andy Byron and Kristin Cabot are. I don’t even know my subsequent door neighbor’s precise title and I’m not even joking.
6. In the event you’re going to cheat, don’t be disrespectful about it. Once more, don’t be Andy Byron.
I’m assuming this must be a rule—once more, Black males don’t cheat—however like, what’s appalling to me, and to in all probability everyone on the web who determined to out Byron and Cabot was simply the extent of disrespect and HOW out they had been with it. Which makes me surprise if Byron’s spouse knew, however being publicly embarrassed isn’t what she signed up for and that’s a bridge too far. She reportedly eliminated her final title from her Fb profile earlier than deleting her web page. Level is, dishonest with one thing to lose this disrespectfully is definitely fairly ridiculous.
7. In the event you should cheat, you higher be 10 toes down with it.
Neither Byron nor Cabot had been absolutely invested of their dishonest. They instantly tried to not get caught after they bought caught. They had been clearly dishonest sufficient to be round co-workers who now all look complicit however not able to hit the city and take care of the results. True criminals know that generally there are penalties and in the event you’re going to be about that life, you settle for them.
8. Don’t cheat. And positively don’t be Andy Byron in the event you do.
Bears repeating.
Panama Jackson is a columnist at theGrio and host of the award-winning podcast, “Pricey Tradition” on theGrio Black Podcast Community. He writes very Black issues, drinks very brown liquors, and is fairly fly for a light-weight man. His greatest accomplishment up to now coincides together with his Blackest accomplishment up to now in that he obtained a telephone name from Oprah Winfrey after she learn one in every of his items (greatest) however he didn’t reply the telephone as a result of the caller ID mentioned “Unknown” (Blackest).
